we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
