Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
