Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
