My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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