Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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