You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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