dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
