I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
