Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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