I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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