Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
