i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
