Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
