I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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