Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
