come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
