He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
