Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
