Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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