Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
