Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
