I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
