She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
