big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i think i just lost a toe
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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