I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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