he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
