i may or may not be watching the land before time
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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