Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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