marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
