I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
