My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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