you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
