The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
