would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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