Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
