spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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