jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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