I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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