Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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