he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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