I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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