weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
