I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
