If i come over, it means nothing
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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