We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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