you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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