This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize