He is such a slut. More and more my type.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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