They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
