He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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