Will you blow on my dice?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
