All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
