YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
