What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
