i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
