We're like a lot better than the average bears
I hate all girls vehemently.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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