So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize