I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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