Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
