I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We're too hungover to prance.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize