Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
