That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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