I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize