its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
